Deep Ocean
by Charmdfan02
Summary: Jade and Beck recently got back together. What they don't know is that its killing Tori slowly. Will Tori confess how she feels or will she keep it all a secret? Jori one-shot


**Disclaimer: **I do not own Victorious and I don't own any of the characters.

**A/N:** This is just a simple one-shot. I decided to make something a little sad but with a meaningful ending. There's going to be a little grammar mistakes, I apologized for that. I know it's a little rushed but I hope that you guys enjoy it. I know I haven't updated on my other stories. My computer broke down and yes I know I should have saved all the stories on my external drive but I didn't so now I have to rewrite most of my stories. If you like the story please don't forget to review!

_ **Deep Ocean**_

(Tori's Pov)

It's sad to know I'm not the cause of that smile. It's more sad to know that he is the only one. The only one who stands by your side, who can see the real you. I wish you could see what you mean to me.

"Vega, I well thanks." She says in a barely audible whisper.

She and Beck had fought a lot. They supposedly broke up. I don't understand what does he have that I don't? I want her to notice me. But she only has eyes for him. Today I fix her heart and shattered mine.

"It's no problem Jade, that's what friends are for!" I answer with a smile I give her a small hug. She doesn't push me back. I guess she finally sees me as her friend. I always knew that she did. Her whole attitude is fake. I notice the first time we met.

The first time that she poured coffee on me. I saw not a scary girl but a fragile soul. I wanted so badly to reach out. But it doesn't matter how hard I reach, she's just too far from me. Every time I see her eyes I seem to be falling, falling harder each time.

Right now it feels like I'm falling deep into an ocean. It gets darker as the days go by. Now I feel like I'm drowning, I can't breathe, it hurts to see her sad, it hurts more to know that she's happy with him.

As my thoughts get darker she pushes me slowly. I see her eyes silently asking if I'm okay. I could only smile I will never be okay my love. It's what I wanted to say.

"What are you still doing here Jade shouldn't you be on your date with Beck?" She doesn't say anything she just looks at me. Hoping to find the brightness that my eyes once had. It won't matter how much she looks, how hard she tries the Tori that she knew is long dead.

She died that day when she finally accepted that sometimes its better to be quiet. She nods and turns around. She closes the door slowly but before it closes completely I heard her beautiful voice.

"Vega, I don't know who or what is killing you, but whatever it is snap out of it. I missed the bright sunshine." The door finally closed seconds later I could hear the engine of her car starting. I look down from my window. I see her car from afar. You are killing me, but I don't mind my bright sunshine I'll become your moon.

Without me realizing the tears star coming out. I lay down on my bed. I was never perfect not the way that everyone thinks that I am. I'm broken I always have been, I just try to always be happy but I don't know how to. When I was six my aunt Julia died. My mom, Trina, and dad they were all sad. For almost a whole week they remembered her, they would cry, they would tell stories but not even once did I cry.

It didn't hurt, everyone assumed that it was because I did not understand but I did. My aunt Julia lost her husband in a car crash. She was never the same after that. She was here with us but I knew that she died in that accident too. Months later when she tragically passed away. I was happy she could finally meet my uncle. She would finally be with him.

It was not something to be sad about. But it was me the only one who thought that way. Trina always just to call me a freak because of it. I knew that Jade was acting putting a front for everyone because I'm doing the same thing.

We're opposites but not because I'm a bright sun, and she's a dark moon. But because I'm the moon and she's the sun. I just like the moon shine a colorless light. Everyone admires the moon they love it because the moon helps to see in the darkness they can touch it but soon realize there's nothing special about it.

Unlike the sun who illuminates the world. Everyone wants to get close to it but they're afraid of how it can burn, Jade is that sun.

I don't know how long I spent thinking until I heard my phone ringing. I looked at the clock it was already 1:20 in the morning. My phone continued ringing but I didn't feel like answering. It took several minutes for whoever was calling me to give up.

I closed my eyes I was so tired it was such a long time since I had a decent sleep. Every time I close my eyes I see her making out with him. I see her smiling as he whispers something into her ear.

It hurts but what can I do? I could tell her but everything I work so hard for would crumble down. She loves him, she's happy with him, she finally accepted me as a friend. I should be grateful. That's my only thought as I drift into a deep sleep.

I wake up to the sound of my alarm clock. Today is Monday so I have to prepare, I have to be ready to see them together. I have to keep a calm attitude, I have to be happy for her. I can't let them see me down, for her I will hide everything in the bottom of my heart.

By the time that I finished getting ready Trina had already left. I was thankful that I had finally gotten my license. I get into my car and drive off to school.

I had just walked into Hollywood Arts when I saw them by Jade's locker kissing. She had her hands around his neck and he was holding her waist. I wanted to cry. I wanted to leave but I could not, I was supposed to be happy. I took a deep breath, I closed my eyes and when I opened them I walk to my locker. I pretended not to notice how I could hear the last pieces of my heart shatter.

I was grabbing my books when they approached me.

"Tori, I wanted to thank you for how you helped us get back together you're a great friend." Beck said as he put his hand in my shoulder.

"It was nothing you guys make a great couple." I smiled lying with a straight face. Beck soon left to get to his class. He was saying something about how his teacher told them to be fifteen minutes early.

I turned back and shut my locker. Jade kept staring at me. Her eyes seemed to be studying me. I started walking to my class.

"So Vega, I was calling you yesterday to tell you how the date went. Why didn't you pick up?" She asks as her hand grabbed my wrist. It was her way of telling me that she wasn't going to let me go until I answered.

"Sorry Jade, soon after you left I fell asleep this couple of days Trina had given it her all to her singing. She finally stopped yesterday." She let go of my wrist I'm glad she didn't grabbed my right one. Or else she would of notice when I flinched. Yes I cut. It helps me to forget. I had started way before I was in to Hollywood Arts. I stopped after a couple of months of doing it. But now I seem to be back to my dark habit.

I guess that it started when I first heard my parents fighting. That's all they do when they're home they fight. Fight how my mom is fucking my dad's co-worker. How my dad gets home late after drinking so much. That's why I'm so content when they're not home.

"Vega, the bell just rung are you coming are not." Jade was already heading to class by the time that my mind started to clear up. I don't know how but by the time that I noticed it was already lunch and I was sitting in my usual sit with my friends.

"Hey chika, I heard you were playing cupid for these love birds." Andre said.

"Omg I wanna play cupid too Tori!" exclaimed Cat.

"I'm deciding on moving in with Beck." Jade said. I heard Cat give a happy scream. Andre and Robbie where more shocked than anything but the weird thing it was that Beck was too. I thought that I would cry, break down, or tell her that she couldn't because she was supposed to be mine. It surprised me when I didn't feel a thing. So is this how it feels like when you're soul dies?

Jade looked at me waiting for me to say something, she probably wanted to hear how happy I was for the both of them so I did.

"Oh! Are you guys sure? This is a big step! But if that's what you want to do then I'm so happy for you. I wish you guys nothing but the best." I said as I smiled.

Jade and Beck looked at each other before Jade stood up and left with Beck soon following. I knew something was off but I didn't say anything I accepted it. That's when it happen my heart felt like it was on a cage a cage on a deep ocean. It was so hard to breath, I stood up and ran to the closest bathroom. I fell to the floor while grabbing my chest.

My whole body felt like it was on fire. My lungs felt like they might explode. My heart was the worse, it was beating so fast, too fast. I had tears on my eyes, is this how I was going to die? All alone in the middle of a girls bathroom? Jade. Jade. I don't want to die. I love you.

"VEGA! VEGA! Fuck call an ambulance!" those were the last thoughts I heard before everything became dark.

I woke up to find myself in a white room. There was a beeping noise I turned sideways to see the heart monitor. I'm alive, what happened? Before I could question myself for an answer I heard the door opened. There she was Jade with her puffy eyes. She seemed like she was crying. Why would she be crying?

She closed the door walk to my right side. The next thing I knew I felt a tingling pain on my cheek. Jade had her hand raised tears coming out of her beautiful eyes.

Before I could ask why she hit me she kissed me. Her lips were soft, her right hand caressing my cheek , the same cheek that moments ago she had slapped. I returned the kissed with all the passion that I had.

Her tongue asking for entrance that I gladly gave. Soon my tongue and hers were tangled together in a passionate dance.

My hands slowly went to her waist then I remembered she had Beck. I pushed her away abruptly. She seemed shocked until I felt her finger gently wiping my tears.

"Vega, you had a heart attack." That's the only answer I received as she hugged me tight.

"Your mother told me that you always had a weak heart. She said that you couldn't be put in too much stress. Not only that but the doctors said that your body was on a terrible condition. You haven't eaten properly and they also said that you had various cuts on your arms. Cuts that seemed to had been caused by you." She said as she pulled away from me. Her face so closed to mine.

"Why?" it was her only question.

I didn't say anything. What was I suppose to say? It's because that's the only way I knew how to let all the pain of seeing you with Beck. I could not say that instead I kept my mouth shut as I looked down.

"Vega, I almost lost you. So please tell me why, please what would cause you to do this to yourself." her hand was grabbing my chin. She made me face her again.

"You." I answer in a frail whisper.

She doesn't say anything she just stands up closes her eyes and laughs while tears silently leaving her eyes. I did not know what to say so I just stayed quiet.

'Tori, I. Please I'm going to talk and you're not going to interrupt me okay?" she asks while I nod. I didn't even notice that she called me Tori.

" Beck and I didn't actually get back together. I was trying to make someone jealous." So they didn't get back together?

"I confessed to him that I didn't love him anymore. He told me that he knew the way I looked at that person. I told him that I didn't know if I had a chance with that girl. He told me that I should see if I could get that girl jealous." Could it be, Jade do you feel the same way that I feel?

"At first I tried and got closer to that girl but it didn't matter how hard I tried she just didn't seem interested so I accepted his idea. She helped me get together with him or so she thought. Before our first date I saw that she seemed sad I thought that maybe I had a chance. I did not go in the date I never had a date. I called her I wanted to tell her how I felt. But she didn't answer." I couldn't believe it was she talking about me?

"I saw her entering the school and I immediately kissed Beck to see how she would react. She didn't say anything, there was no sadness in her eyes. Nothing they were empty. During lunch I decided one last time to see if she cared. But she didn't she acted happy for me. Right then I thought that I didn't have a chance so I left, after we were alone Beck hugged me as I cried. Who would have thought I was slowly killing you." Jade said before she kissed me once again.

I was crying so hard she continued giving me light pecks as I wept. She felt the same way that I did, she loved me.

"I'm so sorry Tori I should have just confessed. I should have said how I truly felt instead of making you suffer." As she was saying that she kissed me on the tip of my nose, my cheeks, my forehead, and finally my lips.

I realized then that sometimes it's not better to hide your feelings. Even if that person doesn't feel the same way its better to tell them. To risk it all and save yourself from unnecessary pain. I love Jade I always have. I know I did stupid things. Acting happy for her. Sacrificing my self for her. Somewhere along the way I forgot that love is not only about making the other person happy but being happy with that person. If I had confess I would have saved myself and her the trouble. If she hadn't felt the same way then that just fated that our love was not meant to be.

Everyone's life is a deep ocean we sometimes just forget that even if we're drowning in our own pain, we can still swim to the top and breathe fresh air.


End file.
